A Reflective Moment

I was talking to a friend earlier today. Recalling how a date last night went splendidly well.

How the date was a complete gentleman.

We then talked about how J was NOT a complete gentleman.

How he had taken one year off of work. How he expected me to do ALL the housework.... While he sat around not doing much...Not paying THE house bills, not being the supportive male, how he was selfish.

I know it was just one date. But still... In a way one date makes a difference. If not a minuscule one.

Later that evening I had talked to another guy friend. *I should note that both males are fairly traditional and believe in taking care of the woman...And yes, that includes helping the woman out around the house*
And it kinda hit me...verbally anyways... Just what a lazy high maintenance woman J was.
I was both the man and the woman in the relationship.
Essentially speaking...With my history...I have always been the care giver.  I have always been the one to take care of everything.
Granted I still am, and have the full intention to always will, as I value my independence.
I will never be a full fledged housewife, but I will always do the best I can if I am well taken cared for and appreciated....In which, I also believe any woman would as well.  

I can see that he will never be happy because he will always have something to complain about....And also because of that, whatever woman he will be with...He'll make her miserable due to the fact he wants a 60s wife.  More likely...He'll want someone that'll be 2nd to his friends...And someone that can emulate his mother.  I'm certain that even with that; he'll never be happy.  
.....................
With the same conversation with the first male friend....We had talked about how this is the 'longest' I've been single.  There maybe some truth to it.
But at the same time, I can tell you.  I haven't felt the deep intermingling soul writhing type of love in a long time.  The type of love where you two are in your own universe and the mere thought of the person just makes you catch your breathe.
I want to feel that.
And of course yes.  I want to feel that with the right person.
I know.  That takes time.
..............................
That same friend as well...We had talked about how my life will piece together.  I hope it does.  I really want things to piece together.
My cable went out today.  So I went ahead and paid it in full. ....I nearly had a mini melt down due to the stress.
I'd like to find a puzzle piece somewhere and piece together my life.  I want things to fit where they ought.
Until then.....I'm glad I believe in Hope....And trying to beat Darwin in the game of life....